Fake Cake At Your Wedding? Are You Seriously Considering It?
by Donald Pennington Factoidz.com
Fake cake at a wedding seems like an odd predicament to a backwoods boy like me. Where I’m from it was at weddings that most of us ever got cake anyway. It was at a wedding that my cousin said loudly "Yes! I do want to have my cake and eat it too. What’s the point of cake if you’re not going to eat it?"
Which is exactly the point we’re beginning to look at right now in regards to fake cake for weddings: You’re not actually getting to eat them. Sitting there across from you, at the reception hall’s north wall, is a baker’s version of "My Love/No You’re Never Gonna Get It," by En Vogue . . . but the point is that what looks like it might be good to be eaten–alas, ’tis not to be. It is fake cake at this wedding.
But all is not lost. That yearning for apple cinnamon rum flavor is not in vain. You’ve been a good boy, you sat, you stayed, and as the wait staff first serve the couple, of course, then the remaining slices of wedding cake come out to the other guests, your tail is wagging!
So since you’ve reached your near carb-coma-dream-state that you so doggedly pursue, you finally come to understand the fake cake across the room might have served a purpose. After all of the dancing is done you finally get a chance to talk for a minute with the groom…and even he’s smart enough to refer you to the new Mother-in-law (or in-love).
You find yourself totally enamored with the secondary woman-of-the-hour: the Mother of the Bride. Sure. She’s talking her ear off so fast you can imagine the warble you might hear were you under water, but it’s hers to brag about. She put this wedding together . . . she and her maternal in-law (in-love) across the room. She put it all together.
"Oh! The fake cake? I’d love to tell you about it," she says. So as you listen, you come to realize the amount of knowledge on this one individual subject alone tells you, that your buddy just married the internet. Good to know it’s good info. She carries on:
Fake Cake Facts Number One:
The fake cake is brought in on a rental or purchase basis (depends on who you use) and the couple/planner has the caterer serve much less expensive sheet cake from behind the scenes. Most weddings are planned by family. Most families are broke. Weddings need to be done as cheaply as can be for the sake of the new marriage itself.
Authentic wedding cakes can run into the thousands of dollars! Fake cakes can be thrown together in any design for no more than maybe $50 to $100 if they’re professionally decorated. The caterers are always willing to create the myth of the illusion for the guests.
Fake Cake Facts Number Two:
Fake cakes can be ordered as a huge multi-tiered structure, with all of the details, including what looks like a pre-cut slice. Brilliant! Sometimes a customer using a fake cake chooses to decorate the cake themselves too, to add to the authenticity of the thing since the mother in law (in-love) can honestly claim to have decorated it herself.
Fake Cake Facts Number Three:
Frosting swipers need to be caught fast! As soon as one of ‘em feels the Styrofoam or plastic of the fake cake itself, come on it doesn’t feel like cake we all know, they’ll ruin the secret for the whole family. In times past it would also be embarrassing. But these days, the family would get a round of applause for saving the money! Still, let the guests enjoy the illusion. They brought gifts. Let them enjoy themselves.
That is…everybody but the frosting swiper zooming in on your fake cake! Some fake cakes look pretty tempting. How do you think I learned it was fake? That frosting was nasty!
Fake Cake Facts Number Four:
If you’re making your own and you need to frost it with real frosting, add a ¼ cup of salt to each standard sized, store bought frosting containers that you use of frosting and mix thoroughly. The salt helps prevent spoilage of the frosting as salt is mostly microbiologically unfriendly. It might last so long the cake might get a second usage of it.
Fake Cake Facts Number 5:
Of course, the best option around was, to simply purchase a $10 "recipe" book on how to make your own fake cakes for your wedding. This way, there’s still a strong sense of involvement, and ‘labor of love’ going into the making of your daughter’s wedding fake cake.
So, now that the Mother-of-the-Bride has explained eveything you could ever need to know about fake cakes that you could ever ask, you ‘get it!’ The fake cake was to save money. You can’t really blame a family for that in this economy.